There are some things a mother can never forget, even if she wants to; that being the 9 month marker. As the weather warms up and the neighborhood comes alive, I see and hear the neighbor kids outside playing, Emma and Evan included. With tears in my eyes behind sunglasses, I can’t help but think there should be one more little girl out there playing. Erika would wear her flip-flops everyday, regardless of the weather. They were a quick on and a quick off as she would go in and out of the house, slamming the door behind her, a hundred times a day, always being adamant about no one wearing shoes in the house. This was Daddy’s rule, and Erika was the enforcer. Just ask anyone who came to visit. She was a girl that made her presence known. Her favorite thing to do outside was swing. I think this was a favorite because it was easy on her heart. She also loved to drive around in her little pink princess jeep; this was also a heart-friendly activity. Even though today was a beautifully warm day; it was windy. I mustn’t forget how fragile her little body was. When Erika was outside playing, I often found myself in analysis mode; checking her coloring, wondering if she was warm enough or if the wind was too strong. There was always something to be uneasy about with her, especially the last year. The non-rebreather mask and oxygen tank were always close by, in case of an emergency. Even if we were just taking Emma to school, the medical supplies were loaded into the van. I write this down to remind myself that this was no way for a little girl to live, even though she knew no different.